Hamster Wheel or Growth - You have a choice!

 The last few months I've had a couple of people come into my life that are very similar but incredibly different.  Both successful, both overworked, and both spins to keep themselves from stopping because if they do, they may not like what they find, and if I told them that they would 100% disagree with me. They get pulled into other people's dramas and they micromanage and love to tell people how to do things, either in work or in their personal life.  It's their way, because there is no other way, and they have done it that way forever they are stuck in a tunnel and can't see another way to function.  Both would not be open to me helping them adjust, although they both are curious about change, they are too afraid, and too chained to their denial and unhealthy way of functioning.  I do believe when the student is ready the teacher appears, but I also know because of free will, the student may just not be willing to take that step. The teacher is introduced to plant the idea and the connection to growth, balance and change, and when they are ready to step into the classroom they know where to find the teacher. 

 

I have come across many people like this in my life, some successful, some not, females and males, some are driven, others are procrastinators.  But all of them have one major thing in common, they can't stop, and they especially can't be alone with themselves and their thoughts!  And they all hold their personal mirror outward, pointing it at others and never looking within and reflecting.  It's much easier pointing to others, judging others and telling other people what to do.  It is terrifying for them to even consider remotely that they are not "all that and a bag of chips", even though inside they are filled with fear, doubt and insecurities.  

 

The universe is tricky, always up to something, and lessons are rarely a one-way street.  I know that the universe brings you the same people and situations to teach us lessons, we can recognize it, see the pattern, but it's trying to figure it out that possess the biggest and most difficult challenge.  What and why is this happening. Rarely is it just a lesson for us, it is also a lesson for the other person and as souls we each have our own journeys to walk in order to grow and evolve, to be the best version of ourselves.  

 

Often like with most lessons when the universe is teaching us and helping us grow, it can be painful and confusing and there is rarely just one lesson within the situation. You will have the obvious lessons that you can see front and centre but then there are the deeper, larger lessons and sometimes we will only figure it out by moving forward and adjusting how we deal with these types of people.  We can hold our own mirrors up to our faces and ask the hard questions of why and what are you learning in this situation.  And as I stated there will be the obvious lessons, how to be and how not to be, how do you let people treat you or not treat you, and one of the most obvious but hard to answer is what is it in you that attracts people like this to you. 

 

We need to focus on what WE can do to move forward.  Learn and adjust our lives from what we just experienced, grow and evolve and most importantly do not focus on what the other person is doing or not doing, that is their path and their karma to deal with.  If they choose to not learn and grow that is on them, you do you, they can continue to spin on that hamster wheel and hopefully one day they will choose to get off before the universe kicks them hard in the arse and forces them to change. 

 

For me these two lovely ladies have taught me so much in such a short period of time;  

• * How not to be,  

• * How if you work hard, you can achieve amazing things, 

• * How teamwork and allowing people to support and help you is key (micromanaging doesn't work), there is a huge difference between micromanaging and overseeing,  

• how I attract people who are empaths and out of balance, 

• balance is incredibly important in our lives,   

• * How success can be addicting and unhealthy,  

• how important it is to love yourself and love spending time with yourself – because if you can't who else will.  

• * How important it is to listen to our intuition and when an opportunity appears really listen and don't just leap because your head is telling you to out of fear or insecurity.  Not all opportunities need to be taken, it may be a test from the universe to see if you are choosing correctly.  So always look at opportunities with your mind, your heart and your gut/intuition. 

• * How important it is to be open to change, growth and evolving.   

• * How everything we go through in life reveals what it is we really want our lives to be, that our ambitions and dreams can change on the daily as we learn and grow our perspective of what we thought we wanted changes and grows as well 

• * What does success mean to me – success is different for everyone, what does it look like and feel like.  

• * I am capable of so much, but I can't help someone who gets in their own way and sabotages change before it has a chance 

• * Part of success is balance, we can work so hard, achieve a lot, make a ton of money, but if you never truly stop and appreciate it or the small things in life, is that a successful life?  

• * I'd rather be authentically myself, not bend to fit into someone else's world.  

 

It is so interesting as I type this list, I honestly think I could go on and on with the small obvious lessons I've learned over the last few months.  But I will not bore you with it all – or at least not right now!   

 

I am grateful for all the lessons. I'm blessed to come into people's lives for a reason even if that is brief and I am excited to see if my next opportunity will be the same recycle or if I've moved on and learned what I needed to.  Fingers crossed I have.  But the key to all of this is the moving forward.  

 

Take what I've learned, be open to learn what lessons are hidden right now as I move forward, and they reveal themselves and enjoy and be grateful for the process. 

 

What lessons are you recycling? Are you on the same hamster wheel or are you stepping off and moving forward?  We are all capable of growth and change, if you truly want your life to be different and to be a more balanced person, you can do it! I know you can!  Whether that’s career, love and relationships or health and fitness, we can have it all we just need to take those baby steps forward towards change. No leaps required, just a tiny step!   

Walking the Talk - I dare you to "do" something today you don't want to "do"!

 

As someone who spends my days advising others how to move forward in their lives, move towards their successes and be the best version of themselves, I like many others who’s, career focus’ on helping others like me do not always walk the talk.  What Covid 19 has shown me, is just how much time I spend helping others and completely ignoring myself and not following my own advice.  

 

Covid 19 has been a gift for many people, it has flipped our normal routines upside down and given us the opportunity to readdress ourselves and how we are doing things in our career and our personal life.  For me covid has given me the opportunity to pause and see just how unbalanced I am when it comes to my personal goals and wellbeing as well as my career goals.  

 

For years I have preached that being an EMPATH is a constant struggle, one that we must always work on balancing.  It is something that we must be aware of and adjust daily.  And what I realized over the last few months is that I have failed miserably at doing just that. Sure, I have balanced on the surface, I try my best to not over help, and I do my best to recharge daily through meditation and other practices.  But what I’ve really learned is that one person’s over helping and another’s is completely different.  Over the last couple of years as my career has gotten busier and I’ve been focusing on helping my clients on a deeper level to achieve their goals whether that is on a personal level or in business, I have completely stopped focusing on myself.   As the saying goes, I’ve let myself go.  

 

I have become the walking a talking version of do as I say not as I do.  

 

BUT the amazing news is I am someone who as spirit tells me over and over again, is someone who learns by going through things.  I need to tangibly learn a lesson in order to really teach it and help others who are going through the same thing or similar.  And boy oh boy, this lesson is a big one, made up of smaller and larger lessons within, but makes perfect sense.  How can I truly help someone overcome things in their life just by reading a book or passing on a message or give them the typical do this and all will be well BS?  How can I tell someone to adjust their lifestyle when I have never had to do that myself? How can I tell someone to balance their personal life and their career?  How can I tell someone how to still help and care for others while caring for yourself?  And the list of questions and lessons continue within this one scenario but the biggest of all is; How can I tell someone how to change themselves and to switch from “trying” to “doing” when I’m not “doing” myself? 

 

As I adjusted my business to focus on helping others be accountable to themselves and their businesses.  To balance themselves to achieve each goal they wanted to reach, I didn’t.  I poured everything into helping and without noticing it I wasn’t doing what I was telling them to do.  But Covid gave me that chance to step back and look at these lessons deeper.  To realize that I needed to walk the talk, not just talk the talk.  And I know that now that I have gathered that information plus all the information that I will learn in readjusting my life and “doing” it will only empower me more to really help others with those skills. 

 

Perspective is an interesting tool, if we can learn to readjust our perspective and look at a situation from a place of “what am I learning in this”, rather than “why”, it can change everything.  I know many of you reading this may feel that those two statements are very similar, and they are, but the big difference is approaching the situation from a positive view rather than a negative view.  

 

The word “why” becomes this view of being a victim and discouragement, “why is this happening to me”.  Where “what am I learning in this” is a positive viewpoint, what is the universe telling me, where is it pointing me to and what do I need to learn to readjust my life to be the best version of myself.  

 

The trick in discovering the “what am I learning in this” is not to stop and focus on the situation, which often throws you into the “whys” but it is to “do” and continue to move forward as you learn what the situation is teaching you and what you need to take away from the situation.  And many times, we will not even discover what those lessons are until we are “doing” and walking through it.  It’s about moving forward, taking those baby steps and opening your eyes to what is around you and the hardest part is to be aware of yourself in the situation.  Most times we are aware of what we need to do, fear may stop us or denial (which is us just lying to ourselves), but we must face it head on and move through it. 

 

Spirit has always said to me that Fear is a beacon to our successes.  If we walk towards it and walk through it, we will find not only that it isn’t as bad as we feared but that it is leading us to the amazing life that we want.  I’m not going to lie to you, it will involve a lot of hard work and determination, which you are capable of whether you think you are or not.  But in the end, it will be worth it, when you are happy, fulfilled and successful in all areas of your life. 

 

How do we start walking the talk? How do we move towards our fears and what we know we should be doing instead of ignoring it and living in denial? 

 

We take the baby step to do something today that we know we should do but do not want to do!!  I have been told a few times from spirit a cute antidot about achieving our goals that may seem impossible; “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”  So, with that said we need to focus on the now and what we can do in this moment, today to move towards how we want to be.  We get off the couch and go for a walk around the block. Or we purge our pantry of processed foods and fill our fridge with health options and drink more water.  Or we make calls to network in our business, expanding our circle. Or we create a social media account for our business. Or we learn something we know we need to learn. Or we purge our files and organize them.  ETC! 

 

 We do one thing every day in each area of our lives personal and career that we do not want to do.  We walk through it.  And the next day you do it again, never looking at how big the journey or task is just focusing on what today’s opportunity is to do something we don’t want to do and be excited about it leading us towards our successes!  

 

I challenge everyone that is reading this to do one thing every day that they don’t want to do!  I’d love to hear what you are “doing” to move towards you being your best self! And if you find you need someone to help you along the way, you can check out my website and together we will get you to the goals you are wanting to achieve! 

 

“Do. Or Do Not. There is no TRY.  Yoda”